A miscarriage is an incredibly difficult experience that can cause a wide range of emotional reactions. If you’ve experienced a pregnancy loss, you may find yourself experiencing emotions like shock, anger, depression, anxiety, fear and guilt. These emotions can persist and even come and go for quite some time. Every woman is different and there is no ‘right’ way to feel or react after a pregnancy loss.
One emotion that tends to crop up for nearly every pregnancy-loss sufferer, is anxiety. Whether it’s anxiety over doctor’s visits or the anxiety over whether or not you’ll be able to get—and stay—pregnant in the future, anxiety after miscarriage is incredibly common and can be beyond difficult to navigate.
Symptoms of anxiety often increase when a woman finds out that she’s pregnant after a loss. While this seems like a joyous experience and a potential end to her longing, learning you’re pregnant again after a miscarriage can spark up a number of emotions and make it difficult to find peace and acceptance.
This article will cover the following:
- How anxiety shows up after a miscarriage
- Anxiety in pregnancy after a loss
- How to cope with anxiety in pregnancy after a loss
- When to get help
How anxiety shows up after a miscarriage
Research, including one study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that around one-third of women experience high levels of anxiety in the first three months following a pregnancy loss. After nine months, approximately 17 percent of women in the study reported high anxiety. This reveals that, for some women, anxiety can remain for several months following a loss.
What exactly is anxiety?
Anxiety is worry or fear that is hard to control. A person experiencing anxiety may feel very tense, almost as if their thoughts are racing. They may even experience physical symptoms because of it.
Anxiety symptoms
Signs of anxiety following a pregnancy loss can include:
- Difficulty controlling worry and fear
- Irritability
- Feeling tense and on-edge
- Poor concentration
- Lack of energy
- Trouble falling or staying asleep
Additionally, anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as:
- Headaches
- Stomach issues
- Muscle aches
- Rapid heart rate
- Chest pain
- Sweating
Anxiety after a pregnancy loss
Experiencing a miscarriage changes the way that you see the world. For many women, the world no longer feels safe or certain. For women who become pregnant again following a loss, the pregnancy can be filled with significant fear and worry.
According to Dr. Lauren Richardson, a psychologist in Newport Beach, CA, and owner of Thrive Space Psychological Services, “once a person has experienced a miscarriage, the fear of the unknown and loss of control can be magnified, thus leading to increased anxiety about whether or not the miscarriage will occur again and how to prevent it from happening.”
The fear of experiencing another loss is incredibly common. Many women look to the week that they experienced their previous loss as a benchmark or safe point. They tell themselves that once their pregnancy progresses to that point, they will feel better. For some women this is true, but for many, the anxiety lingers far longer—even for the remainder of the pregnancy and beyond.
Dr. Richardson also explains how many women question their every move and fear that they could do something that could lead to another miscarriage. Women may change their diet, stop exercising or isolate, even when their healthcare providers assure them that it is okay to do these things. This is especially true if a woman blames herself or feels responsible in some way for the miscarriage.
While anxiety is very common in a pregnancy following a loss, it does not have to overshadow the joy of carrying a new life. It may be impossible to be completely anxiety-free, but there are ways that you can cope with your fear and worry and minimize its impact.
How to cope with anxiety in pregnancy after loss
Even though anxiety may be present during your pregnancy, it doesn’t have to define it. Keep reading for ways that you can cope with your anxiety after experiencing a miscarriage.
1. Care for your basic needs
Ensuring that you are taking care of your body sets the stage to help you better manage your anxiety. It’s more difficult to cope with your anxiety when you’re not meeting your basic needs.
When you’re pregnant, your needs for food, water and sleep change. You require more of these things to keep your body functioning well.
Remember to attend to these areas:
- Water: Drink at least eight to 12 cups of water each day to keep yourself hydrated.
- Food: Your body needs more calories during pregnancy. If you’re carrying one baby, your body will need an additional 340 calories per day starting in the second trimester. If you’re carrying twins, then you may need an additional 600 calories per day. Talk to your healthcare provider about your specific needs.
- Nutrition: Your body requires a range of vitamins and minerals, which you can get through eating a healthy nutritious diet and taking a daily prenatal vitamin. If you have a specific vitamin deficiency, talk to your healthcare provider about your options.
- Sleep: While there is no standard recommendation on the number of hours of sleep pregnant women should get, your body may need more than eight hours. Pregnant women tend to wake up more often throughout the night, which can contribute to fatigue. It’s important to listen to your body. If you feel tired, rest.
2. Remember that this is a different pregnancy
Perhaps one of the most important ways to cope with anxiety is to not make assumptions about this pregnancy based on your loss. Remind yourself that this is a different pregnancy with a different outcome. As Lora Shahine, MD, reproductive endocrinologist at Pacific NW Fertility in Seattle, Washington, and host of the Baby or Bust Podcast, always shares with her thousands of followers on Instagram: “Every pregnancy is a new opportunity.” When your brain wants to jump to conclusions, take a deep breath and repeat this statement out loud: “this is a different pregnancy.”
Getting feedback from your OB/GYN or midwife can also be helpful in coping with anxious thoughts when they come up. After a miscarriage, women have a tendency to overestimate the threat of another one happening. This is completely understandable, but it is more helpful to focus on accurate medical advice. You can even have your provider write down key points to remember about your risk and things you can do that are within your control, since your brain may distort this information when you’re under stress.
3. Practice mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness is the practice of focusing your attention on the present moment. It is a practice because the goal isn’t to do it perfectly. Studies have found that mindfulness can provide a host of benefits, including helping to reduce anxiety and enhance feelings of calm and relaxation.
Mindfulness is beneficial to practice in moments when you’re feeling anxious. This is because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for helping you calm down. It is also useful as a daily practice. When done in this way, you may be able to reduce the likelihood of feeling anxious throughout your day.
If you’re feeling anxious at any point in your pregnancy, consider trying mindfulness. If you are a beginner, you may want to try a guided meditation. There are many free options available online. Start with just five minutes a day and see how you feel. If you want more, work yourself up to a longer practice.
When to get help for anxiety after miscarriage
While the tools listed above can be helpful, some women may need professional support to manage their anxiety. Dr. Richardson explains that if you find that your anxiety is getting worse or not improving and is affecting your quality of life, then you should consider treatment.
Therapy is the recommended treatment for anxiety during pregnancy. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that focuses on changing negative thoughts that contribute to anxiety.
For severe cases of anxiety, your healthcare provider may recommend medication. The decision of whether to take medication is an individual one. Your healthcare provider can talk to you about the pros and cons and help you decide if it’s right for you.
If you’re experiencing anxiety about the possibility of having another loss, you are not alone. Many women experience these same thoughts throughout their pregnancy, especially early on. Try to remind yourself that this is a different pregnancy and focus on accurate medical advice. If you find yourself jumping to conclusions, stop yourself, take a deep breath, and redirect. Finally, it’s important to care for your basic needs, like eating well and getting enough rest, and using practices that calm down your nervous system, like mindfulness meditation.
