When you experience a pregnancy loss, you’re understandably dealing with a myriad of emotions—shock, sadness, anger, frustration, confusion and, of course, grief. No matter how far along you were when you experienced your loss, pregnancy loss creeps into nearly every single facet of your life, including your job.
For starters, you might feel hesitant to share your experience of pregnancy loss with your colleagues or manager —and may even be worried about their lack of understanding and potential judgment. You may also have severe anxiety over the concept of returning to work—something you’re likely tasked to do far sooner than you’re “ready.” You might worry about your workload, managing emotions in front of others or facing awkward questions. There are also the hormonal changes after a miscarriage that can contribute to feelings of depression, which are very real and deserve to be recognized.
Despite the fact that miscarriage is incredibly common—affecting an estimated 30 percent of pregnancies, it’s still not dealt with in the way that it should be by society, and this includes the professional workforce.
In fact, both infertility, which affects 1 in 6 couples, and miscarriage remain largely unaddressed in the workplace.
Many employees feel uncomfortable discussing these sensitive issues openly, leading to feelings of isolation and a lack of support—and this lack of understanding creates a barrier for employees who are already grappling with immense emotional challenges.
“Because miscarriage and infertility are not openly talked about, employees can feel isolated and alone as they grapple with emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and disappointment,” explains Tara Bodine, human resources professional and founder of True North People Consulting. “In addition, the medical procedures and financial burden can be overwhelming and can lead to stress, anxiety and depression, which can lead to strain in all areas of life, including interpersonal relationships and work.”
The Impact of Infertility and Loss on Employees
The emotional and physical strain of infertility and miscarriage can significantly impact an employee’s work life. As much as we want to believe we can compartmentalize, we truly cannot without impact, and it isn’t healthy to do so, notes Bodine. Here are some of the ways both loss and infertility can impact employees and their work life balance.
Difficulty concentrating
When employees are at work, their focus can be impacted, and this distraction can be further exhausting to manage, Bodine notes. The emotional turmoil associated with these experiences can make it difficult to focus on work tasks.
Depression and anxiety
Struggling to be successful at work while also having challenges with fertility can lead to an overall feeling of inadequacy, which can lead to depression and burnout. What’s more: depression is significantly more common for those who have experienced infertility and pregnancy loss. Studies show that people experiencing infertility have a higher prevalence of depression compared to the general population. Research also suggests that 25 percent of women report symptoms of PTSD and 34 percent report symptoms of depression after a month
Social withdrawal
Employees may withdraw from colleagues or social activities to cope with their grief and isolation. Not only may they feel hesitant to share their experience with others, but they may also fear judgment or a lack of understanding. Social withdrawal can be a way to avoid these potential interactions.
Increased absenteeism
One of the most obvious impacts on productivity is when employees miss work due to doctor appointments, illness, emotional stress and fatigue. Medical procedures require appointments during work hours as well as recovery periods that can lead to more frequent absences from work.
Decreased productivity
The emotional and physical toll can significantly impact an employee’s ability to perform their job duties effectively.
How HR Can Foster Support for Employees Coping With Infertility and Loss
Human Resources (HR) departments have a crucial role to play in creating a supportive and understanding environment for employees facing infertility and miscarriage. By implementing compassionate policies and fostering a culture of open communication, HR can make a significant difference in their well-being. “When a work environment isn’t supportive during a difficult time, the employee may feel resentment and ultimately leave the organization,” Bodine says . “Without having the proper tools to support grief, employees can have long-term mental and physical health problems that impact their work and ability to thrive.” Here are some key strategies that HR departments can adopt:
Creating a trusting work environment
Creating a work environment of trust and belonging allows employees to feel like they can bring their whole selves to work regardless of their circumstances, Bodine explains. “Leaders often shy away from talking about personal topics out of fear that they will get in trouble or are doing something illegal, but it is important for leaders to build a trusting, empathetic relationship with their employees and the employees can decide what they feel comfortable sharing,” she says. “When open dialogues can occur, leaders can ask how they can best support employees versus trying to roll out benefits that work for the masses..” This is the ‘peanut butter’ approach to benefits—allowing one person’s trauma pave the way for others to receive the support and understanding they need when faced with similar circumstances.
Training managers to handle infertility and loss
Managers can be trained on overall communication skills and emotional intelligence, which will support employees in any situation, Bodine explains.. “They can practice being comfortable listening to situations that they may not have answers for, how to ask questions in sensitive conversations, and what comments to avoid,” she continues. “They can also further build trust by understanding what is confidential and ensuring they keep their employees’ confidence.”
Offering flexible work arrangements
One of the most important things an organization can do, according to Bodine, is to offer flexible work arrangements so employees can take the time needed for appointments, mental health, and physical recovery, and work remotely if needed. “Employers can also offer clear policies outlining support, generous paid leave options, paid fertility benefits, and Employee Assistance Programs,” she recommends. Additionally, offering paid bereavement leave following a miscarriage to allow time for emotional recovery and support.
Providing fertility and leave benefits
Offering generous and diverse fertility benefits (e.g., treatments, adoption expenses, medical care, recovery time) can build employee commitment. “Companies can offer paid leave beyond what is offered on a national and state level to support employees going through challenges,” Bodine says. “Many companies are now starting affinity or support groups for employees who want to become parents or who are parents.” These groups provide access to resources that can help employees in real-time and connect with other employees on similar journeys. This, Bodine explains, helps eliminate the feeling of isolation and normalizes the conversations.
Promoting Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)
Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) can provide invaluable emotional support for individuals and couples facing infertility and miscarriage, however, they go largely unused because employees do not realize the resources they provide. “Companies should ensure they are sourcing EAPs that offer broad, innovative solutions and take opportunities over time to communicate and highlight different resources to the organization and arm leaders with the tools to share specific resources when an employee needs them,” Bodine says.
Find Support With Miscarriage Movement
At Miscarriage Movement, we offer two types of coaching services to help you navigate the road through pregnancy loss and infertility:
Miscarriage Coaching Support
Our co-founder Jenn Sinrich is on-track to become a certified bereavement doula, a trained professional who provides emotional and practical support to individuals and families experiencing grief and loss. They differ from traditional doulas, who typically focus on childbirth and postpartum care; instead, they specialize in supporting those grieving the death of a loved one, including spouses, parents, children and friends. They can also offer support for pregnancy loss, such as miscarriage or stillbirth.
Get in touch to be part of our pilot program: jenn@milaandjomedia.com.
Executive Coaching Support
Embarking on the journey back to work after miscarriage with Lindsay Tigar, the co-founder of Mila & Jo Media and a certified parental leave coach, who offers a specialized career coaching package designed to support professionals in navigating this intricate transition. Get in touch today: Lindsay@milaandjomedia.com
